Your name

I wrote your name in the sky;
but the wind blew it away

I wrote your name in the sand;
but the waves washed it away

I wrote yourname in my heart;
and forever it will stay.

What I Love About You

I love the way you look at me;
Your eyes so bright

I love the way you kiss me;
Your lip is so soft and smooth

I love the way you make me happy;
And the ways you show me care

I love the way you say 'I Love You';
and the way you're always there

I love the way you touch me;
always sending chills down my spine

I love that you are with me;
and glad that you are mine

Wish

If I could just have one wish,
I would wish to wakeup everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck,
the warmth of you lips on my cheek,
the touch of your finger on my skin,
and the feel of you heart beating with mine knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you.

An Entrapment

My Love, I have tried with all my being to graep a form comparable to thine own, but nothing seems worthy;

I know why Shakespeare could not compare his love to a Summer's day.

It would be a crime to denounce the beauty of such a creature as thee, to simple cost away the precision, God had placed in forging you.

Each facet of your being weather it physical or spiritual is an ensarement from which there is no release.

But I don't wish realease;

I wish to stay trapped forever with you for all eternity.

A Special World

A Special World for You & Me
A Special Bond One Cannot see
It Wrap Us Up in it's Cacoon
And Hold Us Up in it's Womb

IT'S finger Spread Like Spun Gold
Gently Nestling us To The Fold
Like Silken Thread it Holds us Fast
Bonds Like This are Meant to Last

And Though at Times a Thread May Break
A New One Forms in it's wake
To Bind Us Closer and Keep Us Strong
In a Special world, were We Belong.

Ma Baby

I miss Kenney so much. I told him that and he sounded like he dont even care. And he only text me once in a while. If he feels like it will text me if not he will leave me hanging. I have no idea why he always keep me hanging. Maybe because i asked for it all the time. Should've listen to my peeps and just move on. But something about him that makes me wants it. Maybe because of his looks. (He is really cute. No doubt bout that). Maybe because of the way he act. maybe because he always make me laugh. Maybe because he knows how to get me do new stuff. Maybe the way he use his words and charm. Maybe because how he acts in... I dont know which one of that makes me hook to him. But I cant expect the same thing from him. Because he have his own feelings and I have mine. So both of us have different feelings. But atleast I just want him to tell me the truth not what i want to hear. He is one in a million. He have all the things that i need. He's cool, out going, tall, funny, caring, loving, jealousy, ignorant, open-minded (close minded at the same time), always have a goal, childish, etc. Of course theres always the stuff that i hate about him, but I always look at the good side because that is the reason why i'm with him. Cause I like him the way he is.

Dilemma

I'm scared to lose Kenny once again. I'm not ready at all. I dont know why im like this. Everyone told me that he is not worth it and he's not even that good looking. But there's something about him that makes me hook. I dont know what it is. And i dont even know what is he's feelings towards me. We are going out now, but he havent been texting me. I love him alot.

November 28, 2008

It's been awhile now.. A lot had happened lately.. Definately it was a roller coster ride. Had tons of fun. But that one thing always in my way..

Love...

There is this guy..
His name his wan..
Well you can know its his short name..
His name is too long for me to remember after all..
Rezuan Isham Romy Tumulak..
That is his full name..
But his name is out of this place..
I am 9 years his junior..
He is 5' 11"..
I wish he was 2" more taller..
But whatever he still taller then me..
His birthday is Jan 12 1983..
He have a blue rim around his eyes..
I think it's blue.. hehe
He likes Hip-Hop..
Like I dont even need to ask him, I know he likes Hip-Hop..
What else about him??
Kie whatever I will add on later..


So he asked me out..
But I told him to let me think about it first..
I cant give him the answer right away because...
Alright..
I'm just afraid to have long distance relationship..
And also if I have a bf now..
I cant fool around anymore..
Cause I will feel awkward if I want to do that something..
Dont worry it's not sex..
I mean like flirt around with guys..
And I made promise with myself not have bf till I go back to Spore..
I am just afraid to break some idiot guy's heart..
Just let me keep hurt myself..
DORK!!
I sounds like a emo kiddo..
But whatever..
I am trying to express myself here..
So yeah..
I don't know what to say..
I am totally clueles..
Yes, I am a sotong Right now..
So what..
Ok Ok..
2 years of long distance relationship is really long..
I mean..
I'm a play girl.. (n i neva hook up wif any dude)
I want to continue with my game..
If I go out with him and it does last till i go back..
Then I just wasted 2 years of my life..
Living in so called guilt..
I dont know la..
It's hard..
Also I feel that we dont really know each other..
I feel like there is this gap..


I will be sign in here again..
On monday 7am..
My time..
And post the answer..

Familia

Can I trust my family?
Why is it so hard for me to see my family get along very well?
Everyone keeps talking about everyone.
Everyone keep making each other angry and upset.
It seems now whatever topic to be open is always the wrong topic.
Why cant everyone just shut the hell up and do their own business??
Why cant they just do that??
Why do they have to create more trouble??
It is so irritating..
I hate to be around them..
Now i have 1 more reason why I cant wait to graduate..
So I can be so far far far away from all this people..
Seriously men..
Fuck all this shit..
People start to think about whatever they feel is right..
THIS IS FUCK UP....
Some people just want to wash their hands off..
Some just act exsive they care..
Some just....
We have a big family..
But not even a person can make things right..
Dude..
Who am I??
Do I even exist in this family..
Cause no one care about my opinion..
Wanna know why??
Cause I am just a kid..
I am jsut a teenager that screw up everything..
Guess what??
I have brain to think and everyone make mistake..
But still, no one care..

I have develop this thing since I'm in the states..
I can never trust anyone around me..
Not even my family members..
Because everyone have their different masks on..
I dont know which is which..

I just want to go home..
AND MAKE MY OWN LIFE..
FUCK EVERYONE THAT IS AGAINST ME..

Me*Hermana

OMG!!
Me and my sister used to fight alot..
I am happy that I am totally far away from her now..
But I miss her so much..
Like I miss figting with her or her kids..
I just wish I know here more..

To Be Continued...

*Yo * Hermano *

Today it feels weird..
My brother told me that he miss me so much..
And he told me that I will have a sister in law for my 18th birthday..
I cant imagine him having a family yet..
I told him to have fun first..
Enjoy life..
If I tell my mum what i just said to him, I think she will think I'm crazy..
But you know what, I love my brother alot..
I dont him to take the responsibility that he cant carry yet..
It makes me suffer more to look at him suffering..
I think that he better carry his own mistakes around and not others.
He is smart and caring and crazy and fun..
He knows what he is doing..
And I might know how he feels when he is doing something..
I love him but i have never tell him before..
I wish that one day I have the guts to say 'I LOVE YOU' to my own family.
I have never ever said that 3 words to my family member..
Back to my brother..
He is the rawkers brother that I ever wish for..
I want him to have the life that he wants..
When I was a young girl, all I want to be was my brother..
Just be like him..
Run away whenever people try to make us feel so small..
What i want the most is to run away from my family..
Heii you know what..
Sometimes not everyone can just run away..
And that person is me..
But I am lucky where I am..
I dont need to deal with all my family member..
But poor brother..
:P
I think the best for him is just be himself and dont care what people say..
But sometimes I just feel like killing him..
Cause he act like he doesnt care..


To Be Continued....

Friends

After being the US for 1 year 3months 1 week, I feel that I dont have lots of friend. When I was ll in Spore, I will like a muther fucker. It's like I have lots of friends. Let me write my friends from the past and now. I bet you there's alot of different.

Alep
Abby
Anoi
Hair
Hao ming
Amir
Siti
Atikah
Shariffah
Zulaiha
Lydia
Juliana
Prita
Sarvesh
Asaad
Ramadan
Tasneem
Fadhli
Salehin
Bad
Afai
Faizal
Faisal
Kamil
Kamal
Rudy
Hady
ayim
alem
wai kian
syafiq
varan
hafiz
habil
rabani
rauzan
khairul
daniel
darren
diana
diana
thana
bell
dalila
juff
hairul
benny
sobri
tamimi
Is
izzudin
afiq
tajudin
(if your name is not here i'm so super sorry)

But now, I dont have half of them being my friend.
Maybe we are still friends.
But all of us have change.
Of course some still act like an asshole.

The real question is...
Do I have a friend -or- Do I have a group of friends?

- My Vacation -

Today is my exact 10 days at home. That include the weekends.
40 days at home, only go out once (whole day outing).
My mum would be proud if I do this in Singapore.
Instead I do it in the US.
I have the feelings that she wont believe me if i tell her I have been staying home for the past 10 days.
It's hard to believe.
Like 10 days at home.
That's like 1 week 3 days.
That never happen to me before.
I still have 28 days to go.
But I have the feelings that I will only have 20+ or lesser days left.
Because cunini is making a plan for us to go to Orlando.
WOHOO....
8 hours away from the keys.
I am so damn happy.
Get out from the keys for a few days.
But I'm still not out of USA..
So I am not extreamly happy..

Nadia Captive Memoir of an Arab Woman of Hope

A fascinating memoir about life in the Middle East

The birth of Fay Afaf Kanafani (Nadia) in February 1918 coincided with major political events: the end of World War I and the collapse of the Ottoman Empire. As the world around her reshaped itself, Nadia moved to Labenon, where she spent her childhood, to state of Israel reduced her to refugee status, along with thousands of others.

In this remarkable autobiography, Afaf Kanafani reconstructs her life as an abused child, a young bride and mother, a widow twice over, a breadwinner, and ultimately a survivor. Through her eyes we see the dispersion of Palestinians during the cration of Israel, and the destruction of civilian life in Labenon's civil war. Rich in detail and anecdote, the book weaves together the personal and the political to provide fresh insights into the complexities of life within Arb society in the mid-twentieth century.

I will give this book 5 out of 10.

Anne Frank : The Diary of a Young Girl

Discovered in the attic in which she spent the last years of her life, Anne Frank's remarkable diary has since become a world classic, a powerful reminder of the horrors of war and an eloquent testament to the human spirit.

In 1942, with Nazis occupying Holland, a thirteen year old Jewish girl and her family fled their home in Amsterdam and went into hiding.For the next two years, until their whereabouts were betrayed to the Gestapo, they and another family lived cloistered in the "Secret Annexe" of an old office building. Cut off from the outside world, they faced hunger, boredom, the constant cruelties of living in confined quaters, and the ever-present threat of discovery and death.

In her diary Anne Frank recorded vivid impressions of he experiences during this period. By turns thoughtful, moving, and amusing, her account offers a fascinating commentary on human courage and frailty and compelling self potrait of a sensitive and spirited young womam whose promise was tragically cut short.

I will give this book 4 out of 10.

Saturday, July 20, 2008

OMG!!!
I am super tired today.
Went out to Troy's party.
Had a lot of fun..
Hang out at his crib.
Jump in the pool.
Eat some pizza.
It was awesome.
It may sound so simple, but i like it alot.
I wish i could stay longer.
I came home at 1130.
Sleep at around 12++.
And guess what time i woke up??
1145am!!!
I have never done that before.
Cant believe how tired i was.
LoL..

- My Vacation -

Today,
Nothing special about it.
I thought that my summer vacation will end in 3 weeks.
But I just got to know that I still have 5 FREAKING MORE WEEKS.
I just cant wait to go back to school.
It's summer and it's super hot.
Today is super bored.
Gonna just stop here, I'm just to bored to write anything today.


Peace out Love
-Fifipz-