Love...

There is this guy..
His name his wan..
Well you can know its his short name..
His name is too long for me to remember after all..
Rezuan Isham Romy Tumulak..
That is his full name..
But his name is out of this place..
I am 9 years his junior..
He is 5' 11"..
I wish he was 2" more taller..
But whatever he still taller then me..
His birthday is Jan 12 1983..
He have a blue rim around his eyes..
I think it's blue.. hehe
He likes Hip-Hop..
Like I dont even need to ask him, I know he likes Hip-Hop..
What else about him??
Kie whatever I will add on later..


So he asked me out..
But I told him to let me think about it first..
I cant give him the answer right away because...
Alright..
I'm just afraid to have long distance relationship..
And also if I have a bf now..
I cant fool around anymore..
Cause I will feel awkward if I want to do that something..
Dont worry it's not sex..
I mean like flirt around with guys..
And I made promise with myself not have bf till I go back to Spore..
I am just afraid to break some idiot guy's heart..
Just let me keep hurt myself..
DORK!!
I sounds like a emo kiddo..
But whatever..
I am trying to express myself here..
So yeah..
I don't know what to say..
I am totally clueles..
Yes, I am a sotong Right now..
So what..
Ok Ok..
2 years of long distance relationship is really long..
I mean..
I'm a play girl.. (n i neva hook up wif any dude)
I want to continue with my game..
If I go out with him and it does last till i go back..
Then I just wasted 2 years of my life..
Living in so called guilt..
I dont know la..
It's hard..
Also I feel that we dont really know each other..
I feel like there is this gap..


I will be sign in here again..
On monday 7am..
My time..
And post the answer..

Familia

Can I trust my family?
Why is it so hard for me to see my family get along very well?
Everyone keeps talking about everyone.
Everyone keep making each other angry and upset.
It seems now whatever topic to be open is always the wrong topic.
Why cant everyone just shut the hell up and do their own business??
Why cant they just do that??
Why do they have to create more trouble??
It is so irritating..
I hate to be around them..
Now i have 1 more reason why I cant wait to graduate..
So I can be so far far far away from all this people..
Seriously men..
Fuck all this shit..
People start to think about whatever they feel is right..
THIS IS FUCK UP....
Some people just want to wash their hands off..
Some just act exsive they care..
Some just....
We have a big family..
But not even a person can make things right..
Dude..
Who am I??
Do I even exist in this family..
Cause no one care about my opinion..
Wanna know why??
Cause I am just a kid..
I am jsut a teenager that screw up everything..
Guess what??
I have brain to think and everyone make mistake..
But still, no one care..

I have develop this thing since I'm in the states..
I can never trust anyone around me..
Not even my family members..
Because everyone have their different masks on..
I dont know which is which..

I just want to go home..
AND MAKE MY OWN LIFE..
FUCK EVERYONE THAT IS AGAINST ME..